Views From Paradise

I was reading an article today about the ongoing trend (well actually a trend for many years) to give cash as a gift at the wedding.

Now we come from the period when a young married couple needed all the paraphernalia for setting up a household.  Certainly true for Pat and I.  So wedding gifts were plates, utensils, knives, pots and pans and sheets.  We have always thought when we attend a wedding that the gift should be something that the couple needs and maybe would remember us for giving it.

We have been married 44 years and there are still some items that we have where we can identify who gave it to us as wedding or shower gifts.

This is not the modern model of marriage.  Most couples have lived together and have all the basic accruements so maybe they set up a registry and that might be to upgrade the quality of their home items.   When Janine and Vedran got married Blaine and Lisa gave them a great upright mixer.  Not something that they might buy themselves so a memorable gift.

But according to this article, this is less likely to happen as couples establish households longer and have what they want.  There are indications that the bride might request “no boxed gifts” in the invitation.  Apparently this is a clear indication that they want CASH.

We have always been reluctant to give cash because it just seems so cold.  To my memory we have only given cash twice at the many weddings we have attended.  One was many years ago at a large Italian wedding where we were clearly told that cash was the norm (remember the scene from Godfather?)  The other was when we went to Germany and did not have a clue what to give.

With modern couples financing much of their wedding and with no clear need for things, cash kind of makes sense.  You should at least cover the cost of your meal and drinks you will consume so they can have the party without going broke. That is the modern way.

But when I am using our rolling pin to crush bread crumbs, a rolling pin given to us by Aunt Mona and Uncle Jim 44 years ago, I miss the opportunity to give a gift that the couple will use and remember that someone thought to give it to them to celebrate their marriage.